Thursday, February 7, 2008

Paranormal Investigations within a Demon Haunted World Part 4

A multipart essay on paranormal investigations

Part 4: Demons and/or Inhuman Spirits

Before I continue with this essay I want you to know a few things about my past so you know where I came from. Now, when I tell you were I am at in my life, you can see the paradigm shift.

My earliest childhood memories were of creatures coming to get me at night in the dark. At a teenager when I saw the efreeti on the cover of the old Dungeon Master Handbook (D&D reference book), I remembered seeing that in my room when I was a boy. This is reason for my long time interest in the paranormal. When I learned about the devil, I thought those early night terrors were demons after me (give me a break, I was 2 years old).

All through grade school I was active in the church. I was an altar boy, I sang in the choir, I did the readings every Sunday; I went to church six days a week back then. The priests and the nuns tried to guide me into joining the seminary. I was actually thinking about becoming a priest until I hit puberty and discovered an ancient form of torture still performed today; celibacy. I thought celibacy was ridiculous so I changed my mind about any seminary possibilities. Now back to the essay.

There is nothing on Earth I would rather be doing than conducting a paranormal investigation. Whether it is a notorious location in history, an old cemetery or a family that calls me in need of some help; I enjoy it and I will always enjoy it.

I believe number one on the agenda of a paranormal team is to prove the existence of spirits. We must remain objective and find the existence of spirits through the evidence we collect. As I have written earlier, we must use scientific methodologies. Anything else just doesn’t mean anything. Remaining a skeptic is paramount during the investigation; stay out of the halleluiah booth.

While meeting other paranormal teams, I discovered some of the investigative techniques are horribly faith-based. These faith-based teams aren’t interested in proving the existence of spirits because they are convinced they do exist. They encounter demons as frequently as you and I encounter rude cashiers at the deli. The evidence they base their claims of demonic possession and inhabitation are flimsy at best. Evidence they might use as proof of a demonic haunting could be: a cross falls from the wall, somebody smells a stench, had a nightmare about the location, a pet acting weird.

First of all what are demons? They are ultra intelligent beings, evil incarnate. They are in allegiance with satan or might even be satan himself. If you remember the bible, satan is the angel that god kicked out of heaven. He is currently building an army to fight a war he cannot win. The demons are satan’s generals in this soon to be lost war. These demons are so evil they might show up at your house and knock your cross from your wall or create a really bad smell, worse than a dog fart.

Let’s try for one moment to put ourselves in the mind of a demon. If we were a demon and we had all of this power, would we spend our time knocking crucifixes from walls, creating stenches, influencing pets and possessing people? Hell no!! We’d kick some ass!! A truly evil being would do worse than that. Even old girlfriends of mine did worse than that to me. Old girlfriends would slash my tires, key my car, steal all of my checks and empty out my bank account, screw all of my friends; now that is evil stuff.

A demon would rip your dog or cat into shreds. If these creatures were as evil as we think they would remove your eye lids so you could watch them hang and disembowel your loved ones. Then they would remove your crucifix from your wall and plunge it into your testicles. Think about it. These docile activities we credit to a demon are nothing compared to true evil. If we actually encountered a powerful evil spirit we would truly suffer. If they do exist, I doubt seriously anyone has ever been in the presence of one and lived to tell about it. In these supposed inhumanly infested locations no one ever gets hurt. Nothing truly horrible happens but a bunch of screaming and crying.

Another weird observation about these faith-based paranormal teams is their investigations usually involve some type of prayer and end in some type of religious ritual resembling an exorcism. I guess we assume all of these demons are Christian? Do we actually think reading from a book or burning some grass can purge these demigods from a house? The whole thing is absurd.

I am not sure if demons exist because I have never met one and I hope I never do. The books I have read and the programs I have watched do not provide evidence of anything. For paranormal investigators that have supposedly encountered a demon; give me a break. If you believe them, then you should also believe that I saw superman flying through the St. Louis Arch last Friday. I tried to photograph him but I only captured an orb. But that is still proof, right? I also defeated the green goblin by burning sweet grass and reading Shakespeare.

Do demons exist? I have pondered this question for years and if I base my answer on the evidence, then I have to say probably not.

Stay Tuned for Part 5-EVP